How to Influence People and Make Friends: Complete 2026 Playbook to Build Authentic Connections for Creators & Marketers

Start Personalizing

7 days-free

how to influence people and make friends

Content

Summarize content with

ChatGPT

Claude

Gemini

Grok

Quick recap

Translate Carnegie’s core principles into brief, platform-ready actions
Use A/B tests to find DM/comment scripts that generate meaningful replies
Automate with personalization and human review to avoid robotic messaging
Measure reply quality, repeat interactions and retention over vanity metrics

You can have thousands of followers and still feel invisible. If you’re a creator, social manager or small business owner, you know the squeeze: meaningful replies are time-consuming, automation risks feeling hollow, and low response rates leave high follower counts looking empty.

This hands-on, data-driven playbook shows how to fix that by applying Carnegie-style psychology to modern workflows—DMs, comments and smart automation. Inside you’ll find platform-specific message templates, reusable scripts, clear A/B test designs, and the metrics that measure genuine relationship growth (not vanity). I’ll also lay out ethical guardrails so your outreach scales without sounding robotic. Read on to get a ready-to-implement plan that helps you personalise at scale and turn casual engagement into real friendships and influence.

Why this experiment: Applying Dale Carnegie to social platforms

To move from theory to practice, this experiment applies the spirit of Dale Carnegie’s advice to the realities of modern social platforms. Rather than repeating his maxims, we focus on how the underlying principles — genuine curiosity about people, remembering details, and sincere praise — must be adapted to a medium that is different in important ways.

Social platforms change the medium in three crucial ways: they are asynchronous, performative and scaled. Asynchronous means responses can be thoughtful but must be timely; performative means interactions occur in public view; scaled means you must repeat behaviours across many contacts. That implies authenticity must be both repeatable and human: timely personalised replies, public praise that references specifics, and scalable follow-up patterns.

Make genuine friends, not just follower counts.
Influence ethically by building trust before persuasion.
Produce reusable DM/comment scripts and automation patterns you can apply at scale.

Concrete example: replying to a new follower with “Loved your photo of the Lake District — what was your favourite part?” converts a cold follow into a conversation starter by combining a specific detail with an open question.

Practical tip: craft a three-step DM pattern—(1) personalised opener using a detail, (2) a question that invites a commitment, (3) an offer to help or connect. Use Blabla to automate delivery of these patterns safely: AI-powered smart replies draft personalised variations, moderation keeps tone on-brand, and conversation automation routes leads for human follow-up.

What counts as a friendship online? Look for repeated two-way exchanges, mutual resource sharing, and willingness to move to private channels. A casual follower rarely replies; a contact might react occasionally. Friendships produce ongoing, reciprocal conversations and advocacy.

Measure success with core metrics: number of sustained conversations (3+ exchanges), reply rate to outreach, and instances of recommendations. Example micro-script: "Hi [Name], loved your post—quick question: X or Y?"

These adaptations shape the experiment that follows: test scalable, timely, and specific behaviours that preserve a recognisably human voice while letting you operate across dozens of relationships without losing sight of consent and ethics.

Automation patterns and personalization at scale (how to automate without sounding robotic)

Following the step-by-step playbook for DMs and comment scripts on Instagram, X, and TikTok, use automation to amplify reach while keeping messages human and relevant. The goal is to reduce manual work for routine tasks, not to replace genuine, contextual engagement.

Core automation patterns

Trigger → Action: Use clear triggers (reply, tag, form submit) to kick off a predefined action (send a DM, add to sequence, notify rep).
Sequenced outreach: Queue messages in a sequence with increasing specificity and value rather than repetitive asks.
Channel escalation: Start on the original channel; if there's no response, escalate to alternate channels (email, other social DMs, or a CRM task) with context preserved.

Personalization at scale

Use tokens for first name, company, recent post, or pain point to make the opener feel tailored.
Keep variable content short and relevant — one or two personalized sentences per message beats long dynamic paragraphs.
Combine automation with manual review: flag high-potential leads for a quick human touch before sending the second or third message.

Staged timing rules (example cadence)

Immediate: Welcome/acknowledgement message as soon as the trigger occurs.
24–48 hours: Value message — brief helpful resource or insight related to their action.
48–72 hours: Follow-up value message. If there is still no response after this step, try a different channel or tool (for example, send an email, use another social DM, or create a CRM task for a manual follow-up).
5–7 days: Final nudge with a clear, low-friction call to action (e.g., "Reply with 'yes' to get X").
After final nudge: Archive or add to a long-term nurture stream; avoid excessive repeat outreach without new value.

Message examples and tone

Short, helpful opener: "Hi [Name], loved your recent post on [topic]. Thought you might find this quick tip useful: [resource]."
Follow-up value: "Hi [Name], just checking in — did that tip help? If you'd like, I can share a short checklist to apply it."
Channel escalation note: "If you don't see a response here, I'll follow up by email with the same context so nothing gets lost."

Best practices to avoid sounding robotic

Limit automation to predictable, repeatable interactions and reserve nuanced responses for humans.
Vary templates and include at least one personalized line tied to the prospect's content or profile.
Use conversational language and avoid marketing-speak; treat each automated message as a short, helpful interaction rather than a sales pitch.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I make genuine friends on social media without sounding fake?

What conversation starters work best for DMs on Instagram/X/TikTok?

How do I influence people online ethically (not manipulate)?

Can automating DMs and comments help build real relationships?

What comment strategies encourage meaningful replies and follow-ups?